The Church calendar told me that the 21st September is the “Feast of St. Matthew.” What better way to mark the day, than reading the account of Matthews calling from the Gospel named after him?
The story ends with Jesus eating with Matthew and a number of his colleagues. The part that really stood out to me, was the criticism Jesus actions attracted from the Pharisees;
When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
(Matthew 9 vs. 11)
What I found interesting is the Pharisees approach the disciples, rather than going directly to Jesus.
Perhaps, their tactic was to undermine Jesus in the eyes of his followers. Maybe, they wanted the disciples to grumble to Jesus, having the disciples do their “dirty work” for them.
As I read the passage, a phrase popped into my mind “everyone’s a critic.” I am not sure of the origins of the phrase. I discovered that our word “critic” finds its origins in the Greek word Kritikos and it means;
discerning, capable of judging
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/everyones-a-critic)
What this suggests is criticism can, sometimes, be justified.
What matters is the heart that lays behind it and the motivation of the critic. If it is the critics intent to help those they are criticising to grow, develop and flourish then, I would say, tread gently and speak lovingly. We should take to heart the words of Isaiah speaking of the coming Messiah;
A bruised reed he will not break
and a smouldering wick he not snuff out
(Isaiah 42 vs. 3)
In my experience, this kind of criticism is very rare. When I have received it, it has been a positive and affirming experience. Criticism, like this, is a gift;
Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern], But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].
(Proverbs 27 vs. 6 [Amplified Bible])
As the writer of Proverbs points out, there is the other kind of criticism!
I do not think you need me to explain in “glorious technicolour,” what receiving this kind of criticism is like. We all have our examples. Some of us still feel the wounds they caused in our lives.
I was brought up with the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” It is a lie. This type of criticism is meant to wound and hurt. To justify the critic, rather than to build the recipient.
Jesus responds to his critics by advising them to examine themselves;
But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
(Matthew 9 vs. 13)
They are to measure their criticism in the light of scripture and in God’s call to love as he loves. Here is the message we need to take away with us. What we say, matters. What lays behind our words, is of importance.
May God grant us the wisdom of silence and words that bring growth with blessing.